Superfluous kgs? Where to put?
The majority of modern women are constantly anxious by the figure.
To grow thin quite often aspire even what weight corresponds to norm. And those who possesses certainly harmonous body, in panic are afraid to recover. Why so occurs?
To be harmonous it would be desirable each of us, but it is similar, that among the female population of a planet it is desire today finds lines of delusion. As British psychotherapist Em Farel informs (Em Farrell), 80 % of women have asymptomatic infringements of a food, 50 % adhere to a diet.
The analysed interrogation of women at the age from 20 till 30 years has shown, that 70 % from those who has holes - malnyj weight, nevertheless ho tjat to grow thin, and every third admits, that observes ka I forge-or a diet constantly. Women are assured, that their weight inseparably linked with success - both at an opposite sex, and in a society. That it is necessary to recover, and they nemedlen but will be rejected. Many are inclined to accuse of it of weights of media, a glossy press and even nonconventional seksua lnuju orientation of fashionable designers … But certainly, it only one of reflexions reigning in a modern society of "a youth and beauty cult".
Competition of bodies
It is one of the most widespread and steady associations (as though we concerned it): near to the successful, well-founded man it will be indispensable the young woman of modelling parametres. Why we had such stereotype and how it corresponds with a reality? " At this stamp is both social, and the biological underlying reason, - explains social psychologist Julia Fedotova. - First, the harmonous figure associates with a youth. The young companion near to the man podtverzh gives for surrounding its man's solvency, capacity. Besides the fragile, thin girl supports in it its sensation domi nantnosti, possibilities to patronise, patronise is helps the man to feel strong, self-assured. As to biological aspect, harmonous, even the thin woman is unconsciously perceived as free, healthy, active. The full woman as if bears in itself motherhood signs: the pregnant woman feeding, given birth - therefore it instinctively perceive as already occupied with other "male". Thus, following an initial impulse, men really choose harmonous, active, free. Possibly, same instinct moves also women, when they try to grow thin to find the sexual partner. It turns out, so really it is easier to draw attention of men, probably, even of many. It can satisfy partly female ambitions, but at all does not guarantee the long relations giving sensation of happiness and completeness of a life, that is to what the majority of women aspires actually. Movable by exclusively instinct, the man will search new impressions. Being got involved in competition of bodies, such women doom themselves to infinite run on a circle.
Reality distortion
All women have such days when they feel thick - without dependence from what their objective physical parametres. As 34-year-old Olga, "if to count admits, how many time in such days I am looked in a mirror and I say to myself, that I thick if to listen, how many I conduct conversations on it it is possible to think, that I have gone mad". "I usually feel fat if has the day before lost the control over itself and have gorged on something forbidden, - 26-year-old Nina echoes it. - mind I understand, that I can not so suddenly to recover here for one day, but I feel razdutoj from fat, as a seal".
Some as under hypnosis, are ready to consider separate parts of the body infinitely: a stomach, the top part of hands, hips … For one buttock become the most repellent part of a body, own stomach seems to another huge and shivering. Psychologists name it "selective attention" - when the person is focused on any lack and exaggerates it. It appears, it is typically female way of expression of negative emotions: sensations of uncertainty, discontent with the life, uselessness, unreliability or feeling of fault. The man shows similar emotions in another way: they often pour out in irritation and aggression, he can drive too rigidly the car, something to throw or break. The woman will complain more likely about own hips, to find folds on a stomach and to punish itself for the eaten piece of a pie.
Extreme measure
Sometimes similar focusing of attention on the corporal features reaches such scales, that it becomes a question vyzhiva nija literally. "Speaking to psychotherapeutic language, there comes change of structure of a body at consciousness level, - the Gestalt-therapist Natalia Schukin explains. - the internal alarm of the woman so deforms it" an image of ", that, and being exhausted, she is afraid to recover. The bulimia and an anorexia - going a hand about a hand from which reaches food frustration, death rate of 20 %".
Today such type of behaviour is especially extended among young girls, in gilt youth circles. Why so occurs? "The modern mothers injured by an environment in which the control over weight is while zatelem success, transfer the constant alarm about weight to daughters, - Natalia Schukin continues. - this alarm is imposed on teenage uncertainty and constant concern in a question" As I look? ". Besides money becomes the main display of parental love in similar families quite often. Knowledge of that" I can buy everything, that I want, to eat, how many I want ", then to get rid from eaten by means of vomiting and not to recover on gramme, undermines self-control bases orga nizma and can lead to catastrophic consequences for health".
Common noun
Today fat became a source of negative emotions for many men and women. But even this word quite often causes feeling of disgust in the last. And between du that fat is closely connected with funktsionirova niem a female organism: floating gormo nalnyj the background forces a body of the woman that to accumulate to give - and it is all estest vennye, involuntary processes. Fat kont rolirovat it is difficult - and it causes a panic in women. " In a female organism the fat percent always is a little above, than in man's, - objas njaet dietician-endokrinolog Natalia Kalin chenko. Is it is caused by a genetic role of the woman as mothers, and female sexual hormones it is high-grade are developed only at certain level of hypodermic fat. This level at all times nyj that is why, undertaking attempt to grow thin, important to know, that in an organism mozh but to change, and that is invariable, as is put in pawn by the nature and genes. Besides, there is a so-called inviolable fat - a layer which protects nervous fibres and our internal bodies. If to lose some this fat, under the threat there will be all organism ".
At last, fats - the important energy source, they raise working capacity and improve state of health if their percent in an organism does not exceed genetically put in pawn norm. It is useful to recollect it when notions of compulsion about "hated fat" find us before a mirror. Business actually not in fat as that and not in that, it is bad or is good. As British psychologist Mary Wood considers (Mary Wood), fat became for us a metaphor of all of that is unacceptable in society. The control - one of values of a modern society, and fat symbolises for us nikchem nost, slowness, passivity, impossibility to supervise the body, that is inability to supervise the life.
The preservation law
Aspiration to supervise weight to keep relations in steam, hardly will lead to success, the Gestalt-therapist Olga Dolgopolov considers. It is more reasonable to direct the efforts absolutely to other party.
"In the childhood very few people from us heard how it is important to be a century happy a forehead. To us spoke:" It is possible to become happy if … "So, for girls it meant: if to be beautiful, harmonous, clever, if to marry and achieve social or material success … In a word, happy it is possible to become only under certain conditions. But actually sensations of happiness in itself cannot achieve by means of any achievements. The steady feeling, that" with me something not so ", generates in us alarm. That though somehow to cope with it, we should deduce it outside, explain, think up for it the reason." I thick "- the most simple explanation for the woman … to be frequent our requirement harmonous is an attempt kontro lirovat love and attention of associates, to obtain from them a recognition. Many consider, that harmonous to be important and for work: the thick can dismiss, reject. Others think:" If I is thick, he will throw me ". But, being interested only in that," that me loved ", it is impossible to keep love. Attempt to supervise weight to supervise drugo go, fortunately will not result. The decision - is paradoxical: it in that pover nut in an opposite side from ambitions, to cease to try" to be favourite ", and most to become the loving person. To find in myself for a resource of that love when" I love "instead of when" me love ". To try oshchu tit the love nature, the feeling vanija love in itself is literally on particles collecting experience. Working over it, we solve problems which nevoz can be overcome by the control over the appearance, - we find possibility of originally deep, sating relations".
Love, instead of the control
Sufferings because of excess weight (valid or imaginary) arise because of a love lack - this idea is rather popular. Many think what to love themselves is means to buy beautiful clothes, the subscription in fitness club to visit spa. Yes, all it is important, but is to a certain extent a love substitute, in the same way, as money with which other parents "love" the child. For many of us to love - means to supervise, we have taken out it from the childhood, being accustomed to be favourite, that is obedient, "good". As control we transfer this understanding of love and on relations with an opposite sex, and on the body. We are not interested, "what it" (a body, the child, the companion (tsa) lives), - we are interested in that it was such, "as I want". And after all to love itself really means to build with the body of the relation on the basis of love and acceptance. The model of such relations is offered, in particular, by yoga: Its idea of corporal perfection consists in studying the body, to understand, what it to allow it to accept the optimum form, attentively listening to that when and how many it wishes to eat, in what mode and how much actively he needs to move and have a rest, - and to take care of giving it all necessary. As Elena Ulmasbaeva, the expert practising and teaching yoga of many years, "having established such relations with a body considers, we can solve and many internal problems - in particular, what cause infinite alarm about a body weight". The beauty, harmony, health and absence of any necessity will watch weight only pleasant by-effect of this peace sosushchest vovanija with the body.







